As an African I am very proud of what Lupita Nyong’o has achieved and this is how almost everybody on the continent feels. She has been flying Kenya’s flag very high in Hollywood. She even wore a “Nairobi blue” dress at the Oscars, she dubbed it Nairobi blue and it’s the capital of Kenya. I am happy because she uses whatever opportunity she gets to fly her country’s flag high. But this very same Lupita acted on a series a few years back called Shuga and it was not as big as 12 years a slave. Nobody acknowledged her acting skills but now that she is an Oscar winner, we as Africans now dub her as a great actor. We had to wait for Hollywood to tell us she is a great actor.

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Lupita in Nairobi blue dress at the Oscars

She is not alone on the list of Africans making waves. Author and feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has also been making waves in her own way. Her book Americanah was received very well and she was featured on Beyonce’s track Flawless. But her books are not doing as well as they are doing in the US. Not because Africans don’t read but we wait for the Hollywood nod to start appreciating our own. Her other book has been adapted into a film, Half of a yellow sun and hopefully after that stamp of approval we will start reading more of her books.

The next issue is how African print usually referred to as ankara has become a trend. Solange, Beyonce and Alicia Keys have been spotted wearing ankara. This ankara print has always existed but it was only recently that it became a trend and everybody wanted it. We have always had African print but it wasn’t as celebrates until it received the Hollywood stamp of approval .

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Beyonce in Ankara print

As Africans let’s learn to appreciate our own, acknowledge their talents and not wait for the Hollywood stamp of approval. I hope to see Africa set its own trends and not wait for Hollywood to set the trends.An Africa that celebrates its own sons and daughters and doesn’t wait for someone to tell them, “you have a talented son or daughter” to start celebrating that talent.

As an African I am very proud of what Lupita Nyong’o has achieved and this is how almost everybody on the continent feels. She has been flying Kenya’s flag very high in Hollywood. She even wore a “Nairobi blue” dress at the Oscars, she dubbed it Nairobi blue and it’s the capital of Kenya. I am happy because she uses whatever opportunity she gets to fly her country’s flag high. But this very same Lupita acted on a series a few years back called Shuga and it was not as big as 12 years a slave. Nobody acknowledged her acting skills but now that she is an Oscar winner, we as Africans now dub her as a great actor. We had to wait for Hollywood to tell us she is a great actor.

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Lupita in Nairobi blue dress at the Oscars

She is not alone on the list of Africans making waves. Author and feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has also been making waves in her own way. Her book Americanah was received very well and she was featured on Beyonce’s track Flawless. But her books are not doing as well as they are doing in the US. Not because Africans don’t read but we wait for the Hollywood nod to start appreciating our own. Her other book has been adapted into a film, Half of a yellow sun and hopefully after that stamp of approval we will start reading more of her books.

The next issue is how African print usually referred to as ankara has become a trend. Solange, Beyonce and Alicia Keys have been spotted wearing ankara. This ankara print has always existed but it was only recently that it became a trend and everybody wanted it. We have always had African print but it wasn’t as celebrates until it received the Hollywood stamp of approval .

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Beyonce in Ankara print

As Africans let’s learn to appreciate our own, acknowledge their talents and not wait for the Hollywood stamp of approval. I hope to see Africa set its own trends and not wait for Hollywood to set the trends.An Africa that celebrates its own sons and daughters and doesn’t wait for someone to tell them, “you have a talented son or daughter” to start celebrating that talent.

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Ms Maya Angelou once said, “Words are things…”. I loved this statement and i started thinking about the words that come out of my mouth. I paid attention to the things i said to the people around me.

Words are powerful and they have the ability to create and destroy. When we utter them we cant take them back, we can only ask for forgiveness. We should consider the effects of our words on someone. Do they build? Can they help them become a better person?
A lot of people hide behind being honest and say mean things to others. You can be honest without being mean. It is not what you say but how you say it. Dont destroy somebody’s dream or self esteem with your words. Learn to give positive criticism without discouraging someone. Most people hide behind social networks and cyber bully others. Recently in South Africa a pregnant woman was bullied by the media and social media into hospital
. Did these people consider the damage they might cause by their words, probably not. http://m.mg.co.za/index.php?view=article&urlid=2014-02-14-the-woman-in-yellow-who-got-dissed-at-sona&views=1&mobi=true&KEY=b2ohkb11apfh9sdg7i0u9krpc7

The social networks have become a key to being mean in the name of jokes. I have to commend those who are actually using social media to inspire, like Mr Strive Masiyiwa, he encourages African youth to be entrepreneurs and shares his own story of success and the lessons he learnt along the way. Even the words you say behind your keyboard matter. Always try to encourage not discourage, to inspire.

The Word of God says, just like a rudder controls a ship, our tongues control the course of our lives. The words that we say to ourselves matter, our life goes wherever our words go. What do you say to and about yourself. Some even say, “they know me, I am always late”. When you say such you accept that you will always be late. Say good things to and about yourself.

Words are really things, the world was created by words. Mind what you say to others and to yourself. It might start as a word but its fruits will manifest as something.

Be kind to one another. Aspire to inspire. Think before you talk, after you have said it you cant just take it back.

Miss Lynn Blaze

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The paradigms of society have changed over the past few decades. In the past it was a man’s responsibility to provide for the family and a woman’s responsibility to take care of the household. It was perfectly fine for a man to come back from work and hang his feet because he had been working hard all day and the woman to cook for him and make sure his needs were taken care of.

Fast forward to the 21st century where the woman is expected to help the man with the financial burden. She also wakes up and goes to work like he does and they both get back from work at 1700hrs. I find it ridiculous that some men still want to hang their feet while their women take care of their needs. I mean if we are sharing the financial burden with him, it is only fair that he helps me out with the chores.

I raised this argument on a social network and someone’s response was, ” if the husband paid lobola* then the woman should do the chores.” Lobola is not buying a wife or a slave to do chores for you, it is a tradition in our African culture that is meant to create relations between the bride’s and groom’s families. Women are not a commodity that can be bought, you cannot place a price on a life because it is priceless.

Proverbs 31 talks of a virtuous woman and it says, “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.” This on its own shows that a virtuous woman can be a successful business woman. She is a helper to her man in all aspects, they are partners in all they do even with the household chores.  They help each other, I encourage him to accomplish his dreams and I believe he should encourage me to do the same and remember actions speaks louder than words. 

I have dreams of my own and I dont ever want to let them go because my partner was not partnering with me at home. I believe every woman and man should be given a chance to accomplish their dreams and this will only happen if we encourage women to take up positions without fear that they might compromise their relationships with their families. I believe in real partnership where there is balance in the home and in the workplace. 

Societal norms are created by you and me and we are the same people that can change them. Society has always favored men but we can change it, it begins with a shift in the mindset. I believe women will stop shying away from promotions when there is equality. I believe in an equal society in which men and women have equal opportunities.

Be kind to each other and equality begins with you.

Miss Lynn

Nelson Mandela passed  on on the 5th of December, he was known for his role in ending apartheid and may his soul rest in peace.

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I recently watched a movie based on his autobiography, The Long Walk To Freedom, which is a great movie. Anyway one thing that i really admired is the legacy that he left, what he stood for. I mean nobody will ever forget him because of the impact that he made in a lot of people’s lives. At the end of the day nobody stood at the memorial and talked about how much money he had or didnt have, they all talked about what he had done, how he had impacted their lives and the lives of many others, now that ladies and gentlemen is a legacy. In our very last moments on this earth the money and material things wont mean a thing but all that will matter is how we lived our lives, the legacy we are leaving for the future generations. It made me think of the legacy i want to leave, the person i wanna be remembered as, what change i wanted to make on someones’s life. Beyonce’s song I was here comes to my mind, “The hearts i have touched will be the proof that i leave, that i made a difference and this world will see I was here”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i41qWJ6QjPI

I love that song because it expresses how i want to be remembered, the whole world might not come to a standstill after i’m gone but i will try to make a difference in someone’s life, try to make a change no matter how small it is it is a change.

I urge all the young people and even the older generation to make a change and use the time they have to try and make someone’s life better. It is never too late to start giving back, its never too late to make a change, start where you are and with whatever you have. Nothing is too small or too insignificant, it might just be a word of encouragement to a person who is about to give up, it might be taking a child to school. 

We must all strive to leave the world a better place than when we came into it. 

Be kind and be good to each other.

Miss Lynn 

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Most women put up with a lot of bullsh*t in relationships and we as outsiders usually judge on why they are still in that relationship. But usually judge because we dont know what is going on in their heads, we judge because we have never been in that situation. I tried to understand it from their point of view and hence this blogpost was born.

R.Kelly sang, “when a woman loves, she loves for real” and when women love they usually fall deep because we are emotional creatures. We become emotionally attached to that person and kinda hold on even when the relationship has run its course. I had a boyfriend and i stayed with him even when he did not give me any attention anymore or seemed to care. I held on because i believed the man i had fallen in love was still somewhere in him and that he would come back but he never did. It took a lot of courage to finally let go of someone i thought was the love of my life. I am sure most women think like me have that hope that their boyfriends/husband will go back to being that man they fell in love with. Some are even physically abused and they stay or go back for the love. Its not something a regular African girl like me goes through but even the women whom we think are the strongest like Rihanna who went back to Chris Brown after he hit her. So whether you are the richest woman or just regular girl we are wired the same.

Women are some of the most insecure creatures i know, we are insecure about almost everything, our looks, our abilities. Some women are so insecure about themselves to the extent that they think that if they leave their current boyfriend or husband no other man will love them. They stick around even when they see that the relationship is going nowhere, they stick around because they are scared of being alone. We are all scared of being alone, you want to share those beautiful moments with someone. The doubts that we have of finding someone who will give us love, someone better than our pasts holds us back and we stay in hostile relationships.

In most parts of Africa women still get married or date man for financial benefits, the relationship is that woman’s source of finance. This kind of relationships is usually associated with uneducated or girls from poor families. A good analogy would be, in a recession, when other companies are laying off workers and no matter how mean your boss can be to you, you would probably stay because you need the money. These women more prone to abuse because their men know that they are dependent on them for a living. They stay for the goodies, they stay for the money, they stay because they are dependent on the man for financial support.

These are just some of the few points why women stay in hostile and dysfunctional relationships. Dysfunctional relationships emotionally scar you for life so i would want to encourage all the women in abusive relationships or a relationship that is just not bringing out the best in you, its not too late to walk out. You are worthy of getting the best and living your fairytale. DO NOT HOLD ON TO SOMETHING THATS NOT WORKING.